Faith

On the rare occasion I’m actually focused on the things that matter during Mass, God talks to me.

Seriously.

While it’s a difficult sensation to explain, I know it’s happening because I become emotionally overcome and usually start to cry. Of course, I try very hard to conceal the tears because I feel completely foolish. Sometimes it’s a song or a prayer. More often it’s a reading, the Gospel or the homily that get me.

This past Sunday was one of those occasions.  During the homily, our pastor began to speak about attending a wake.  He made mention of sign that he happened to notice when he walked into the funeral home that read: Faith: you may not know what the future holds, but you know who holds the future. Boom.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Earlier that morning I had tried to bribe, threaten and cajole my tween son to attend the 10 a.m. Mass. He refused.  He insisted on going to the Noon Mass.

I had to attend the earlier Mass so that I could complete an errand for my husband (which required my Sister’s help), and have sufficient time that day to visit my mom in the hospital and do other remaining household chores.  The line in the sand was drawn.

My son has ADHD and some other learning disabilities. He is quite naive and often seems “tuned out” from the world around him.  My motherly instincts have always focused on protecting him and, as such, I always stop short at giving him the type of independence his brother enjoyed at the same age. Today was different – I had to let him be completely on his own and trust that he made it safely back and forth from home to Church.

As I sat in the pew at the earlier Mass and reflected on the words that the pastor spoke, I felt as though God was telling me – “It’s okay Patty, no matter what happens, it’s all a part of my plan for you and for him.  I’ve got your back.”

Good to know.